Probably the most educative amongst all the batches of 365 days, I have seen uptil now. 365 days when I lost almost everything I had and the same 365 days which made realize the immense quantum of wealth I possess.
It started with my vision getting blurred by mad, horridly mad ambition. I wanted to spare nothing in my path. I was out to win a world, I scarcely knew. A world, which embodies everything which is anything apart from decency and honesty. I made two mistakes, fatal mistakes. One, I trusted people blindly. The second, I ignored my own ones blindly. The results were as expected catastrophic. I was seduced by success, crawling like an animal on on fours behind her. It was then I realized how ordinary a mortal I was.
The first three months had been a trauma. It never helps when the people whom you expect to fall back upon buckle up one after the other. I had the good fortune of looking them in the eye, piercing through their facade and watching them fumble to look me back in the eye. Too late then it had been, I had pressed my self destruct button. I always had confidence in my skills, my ideals and my beliefs. But then, these are only the prerequisites not the precursors of success. There is a thin line between confidence and overconfidence. I had crossed that line ages ago. This ignorance sent me into a downward spiral. I had arrogantly ignored the most important of them all, destiny.
Dark, pitch dark. Imagine yourself in a labyrinth with the lights turned off. You know there is a certain way out, but without a single light. And to make it worse, I was arrogantly strutting about, with my veil of self belief and so called confidence approaching an open abyss. It was then my mother made see sense and reason. I owe my life to her for that fateful day. After that day, life stopped going haywire. I had broken off those shackles of self belief and arrogance. A few remain, but they kept falling off. I shall never be able to trust anyone completely, my eyes have now learnt to calculate and keep calculating. Trust is one thing that sufferred irreparable damage.
It is said when all doors close, a new set of doors open. Luckily I was handed over a lifeline by destiny. Help arrived from the unlikeliest of all sources. It came like a flicker but like a flash I was on to it. It was not the five star treatment I had initially so arrogantly set out for, but never the less it was one plank in the storm I clung on to for dear life. In choppy waters no captain will ever dare to keep up his sails. The storm is not the captains' fault, it is his destiny, he has to live with it and get out of it with his head bowed all the time.
I learnt patience, it was the most demanding and torturous of all lessons, But I have learnt it. Learning it destroyed my cosmic sized ego which removed those heavily tinted glasses from the front of my eyes. Since then, life everyday has been a bliss and fortunately I have more or less kept close to the course. With time, I have had shots of happiness and joy. For some moments torrents of mirth gushed into me. I am happy because I see happiness and satisfaction on the faces of my dear ones, the happiness that I had drained away because of my hotheadedness. Learning patience however was not so straightforward, I had my stabs of pain, violent pain. It is not easy to forget the seductive kiss of success and I am no saint. But once again destiny intervened and shook off my burden. The peace on my dear ones brows has been the real reward.
All the false feathers have been shaken off. My resilience (this has been periodically and strictly tested) and my skill have endured proving their worth. The agenda remains the same only that I shan't pursue success, rather vice versa. I am not afraid of defeat only knowing now how destiny works. Sometimes success does ensnare unworthy things while deriding the things of true merit. I may or may not be clairvoyant, but I sniff challenge and intrigue and there is a definite positivity about the future. As and when Destiny requires me, I shall stand true to be of service. The final result ahead may be crowning glory or utter ruin, I shall stand my ground. It's the path which is the real happiness not the end point. (The Bhagvad Gita makes lot more sense now :))
Life remains kind and the flicker of light has grown into a flame once again. There is still a set of personal benchmarks to be achieved but they will only emanate with time. May this beautiful journey continue....
The first three months had been a trauma. It never helps when the people whom you expect to fall back upon buckle up one after the other. I had the good fortune of looking them in the eye, piercing through their facade and watching them fumble to look me back in the eye. Too late then it had been, I had pressed my self destruct button. I always had confidence in my skills, my ideals and my beliefs. But then, these are only the prerequisites not the precursors of success. There is a thin line between confidence and overconfidence. I had crossed that line ages ago. This ignorance sent me into a downward spiral. I had arrogantly ignored the most important of them all, destiny.
Dark, pitch dark. Imagine yourself in a labyrinth with the lights turned off. You know there is a certain way out, but without a single light. And to make it worse, I was arrogantly strutting about, with my veil of self belief and so called confidence approaching an open abyss. It was then my mother made see sense and reason. I owe my life to her for that fateful day. After that day, life stopped going haywire. I had broken off those shackles of self belief and arrogance. A few remain, but they kept falling off. I shall never be able to trust anyone completely, my eyes have now learnt to calculate and keep calculating. Trust is one thing that sufferred irreparable damage.
It is said when all doors close, a new set of doors open. Luckily I was handed over a lifeline by destiny. Help arrived from the unlikeliest of all sources. It came like a flicker but like a flash I was on to it. It was not the five star treatment I had initially so arrogantly set out for, but never the less it was one plank in the storm I clung on to for dear life. In choppy waters no captain will ever dare to keep up his sails. The storm is not the captains' fault, it is his destiny, he has to live with it and get out of it with his head bowed all the time.
I learnt patience, it was the most demanding and torturous of all lessons, But I have learnt it. Learning it destroyed my cosmic sized ego which removed those heavily tinted glasses from the front of my eyes. Since then, life everyday has been a bliss and fortunately I have more or less kept close to the course. With time, I have had shots of happiness and joy. For some moments torrents of mirth gushed into me. I am happy because I see happiness and satisfaction on the faces of my dear ones, the happiness that I had drained away because of my hotheadedness. Learning patience however was not so straightforward, I had my stabs of pain, violent pain. It is not easy to forget the seductive kiss of success and I am no saint. But once again destiny intervened and shook off my burden. The peace on my dear ones brows has been the real reward.
All the false feathers have been shaken off. My resilience (this has been periodically and strictly tested) and my skill have endured proving their worth. The agenda remains the same only that I shan't pursue success, rather vice versa. I am not afraid of defeat only knowing now how destiny works. Sometimes success does ensnare unworthy things while deriding the things of true merit. I may or may not be clairvoyant, but I sniff challenge and intrigue and there is a definite positivity about the future. As and when Destiny requires me, I shall stand true to be of service. The final result ahead may be crowning glory or utter ruin, I shall stand my ground. It's the path which is the real happiness not the end point. (The Bhagvad Gita makes lot more sense now :))
Life remains kind and the flicker of light has grown into a flame once again. There is still a set of personal benchmarks to be achieved but they will only emanate with time. May this beautiful journey continue....
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